I will have been married 6 years.
There needs to be something creative happening from me.
My mom turns 59 on Friday.
My latest second cousin came to us on Wednesday.
Another dear friend is having a baby in November.
I'm scared of swine flu.
Honeymoon is in Belize.
I want to go to Paris.
Getting a new roof is so, I don't know, NOT GOING TO PARIS.
I love the heat-detection cameras at Narita airport — can I have a portable one to blast at anyone I suspect of having a fever?
And, now you're telling me that the starlings, pigeons, zebra mussels, kudzu vine, jumping carp, etc. are somehow going to be fixed by making my avians illegal? Come back to me when there are swarms of Australian budgies plaguing our farms … or when everyone has to get rid of their dogs …