Thursday, December 09, 2010


When I say, "I'm on it," the statement probably means I will get to it in three to six days. For some practices, it means six weeks; it's hard to predict / report to those who need (care) to know.

Delayed Attention Syndrome; I need more processing time; I'm not G-anything. I'm analog, at best.

SAD: yes, I also find it justifiably nearly impossible to move much or even move indoors when it is not sunny. (One can hardly clean in dim cloudy-sky-lighted place; and it's sometimes best merely to stay abed and think about what's next.) If I'm not moving, then I'm not going to communicate with you either.

It's not personal.

It is called "being stubborn." Those denial phases have never been troubling; it's the next (not in the 12) step. [Also, "higher power" doesn't work for me; and I could hardly ever be "anonymous" or pay for "real therapy."]

Anyway, most people have tolerated me for long enough. I give sometimes, too.

The other night-time, I found it sad and amazing that I could recall in a flash of neurons every bad aspect of every experience I've had, even the supposed most joyous-type ones. It's a grim slideshow and helps explain why I have not been able to respond well to teachers' requests to "recall such-and-such and write an essay on this very specific, memory-driven topic — in 10 minutes." Nope, can't act that quickly. That's just not fair, as much as it's not fair to do language-based tests on visually strong people.

Later, I dreamed of a repetitive inquiry while walking somewhere, from dad, who kept asking, "How do you know these repairs will increase the value of your house?" There were some other irritations; I'm not remembering them now. I did shout back at him several times. He is repetitive that way, and anti-social (unknowingly, the worst, or perhaps only, kind).

It all adds up.


My second-former job is open again; no, no one at management level has come calling for my return, but I know that among community, I did have my fans. And I also heard from the Salt Mines re: updating my FBI fingerprint. Yes, I've gotten over that … nothing to hide.

Perhaps I can be providing insight in a month about how the $900 billion tax cuts are working out (though, don't those take effect in 2011?). I'm kind-of confused.

Also, much of what I originally wrote after the *** bar was erased; "the cloud" is unforgiving, unlike desktop-based renditions. I don't cherish the auto-auto-always-save / there IS no undo feature on blogs, etc.


Hyperblogal said...

The tax cuts are merely being extended... you will see no difference except, of course, when you have to learn Chinese because the country is bankrupt.

Applecart T. said...

at one time, all that was extended started as a reduction.

Applecart T. said...

SALT MINES BECKON. such a great feeling to be wanted by that which you despise. b/c they pay. federal prostitutes have all the fun.