It's true

I have hardly eaten this past week; am always hungry. up 18 hours a day. Not so inclined to eat, which is the odd part.

The worst part is that i can't drink enough water.

I wake up with and have at many times while awake sharp dehydration headaches. Give me a hangover any day.

Approximately 24 hours ago, my manager saw me curse about the danged time sheets; she's a gem, though, and only said a while later, from a number of feet away from the other row of sorting desks, "Now, Miss ___, don't get frustrated; I see you're getting frustrated."

(They all always seem to help the middle row first for whatever reason; maybe it is because the people sitting there are all new, and we have three experienced people in our row … though I could explain how each of them is not all that helpful. I have other stories about being told what to do and my internal reactions; I swear, I can see how this sort of position could turn anyone into a resentful mess; I thought I knew resentment before, but at least I can say "f*ck" as much as I wish in my humanities-related job, and I don't have to answer to anyone but myself and what I create. However, the rules-is-rules gig pays more consistently and more per week. Let's have a debate about the necessity of a publicly funded arts granting institution or a non-commercial broadcast station.)

Later, she said, "You're a production person, too," and not disparagingly, but only to mean that there was no other way to change what was. She must have just had that conversation with someone else who was worried about performance standards, even though we're still on "learning curve." She was referring to how I was mostly frustrated that my per unit rate was wrecked by the fact that we didn't have enough to do and our work-giver was slow about bringing us items to do … what's so annoying, too, is that I would rather go home were there no work and no pay Ii've become such a contractor) than make my "numbers" look bad.

Yes, that's the way it is — waste time sometimes and then engage mandatory overtime later. You've read "The Jungle," right?

During a kill-time meeting that she didn't have us use a meeting time code for the previous night, she said that one thing we should know is that no matter what the rule is today, it could change tomorrow for no reason, but we have to do it anyway, so don't get frustrated with that. Things just change.

I wish I could tell you about other fun aspects, but I can't: I took an oath that had the words "Constitution" and "God" in it.

I had taken it before, so I am not sure how long it lasts; like my fingerprints they said the FBI no longer had on file (right!), the oath must expire or something, else why do it again : )