Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Dare I

Enter the mire of bureaucracy?

Please note use of capital letters (government shouting*) "where it counts," as well as admonishment that it is important to be on time. I also like how Fingerprint Session becomes a proper noun. What can take three hours about something one needs to be on time to and get really specific parking instructions about?

I think it's funny they imply that some of "us" might have "talent." Later, the department is transformed into another title (see signature line, where they assure sincerity).

I am also offended that I have to obtain an official transcript. Whatever. Why can't universities put that online or verify with some e-signature? Keep paying and paying, folks — I'm going to be reviewing your data — what's funny is their need to assure me that if they position is closed, I will not have wasted entirely my transcript fee.

Yes, and so it has come to this, (as it were : ):

Department of the Treasury
Internal Revenue Service
Talent Hiring and Recruitment
PO BOX 2xxxx
Mail Stop ccccBB
Kansas City, MO 64131
EMAIL: kcjobs@irs.gov
816-291-xxxx

MISCELLANEOUS CLERKS
(code numbers)

Dear _____:

Thank you for your interest in employment with the Internal Revenue Service. You have been scheduled for the next step in the application process. Please keep in mind this is not a job offer. Candidates are responsible for any travel costs associated with the session. This session will last approximately 3 hours.

You have been scheduled to attend the following fingerprint session.

[Date and 3-hour time-slot.]

Please Report To:
INTERNAL REVENUE SERVICE
EXTERNAL RECRUITMENT TEST ROOM
[etc.]

PLEASE NOTE: Visitors parking is located behind ______. We recommend you park on either levels 3 or 4 and take the elevator down to the “T” (tunnel) level. Parking will be validated.

In order for you to be considered for employment you must attend a Fingerprint Session. Your failure to attend will be an indication that you are no longer interested in employment with the IRS and your application will be rated as “ineligible” for failure to report.

Please do not be late. Allow yourself enough time for parking, weather, etc. Timeliness is very important.

At this session you will complete application forms and will be fingerprinted.
To receive further consideration your fingerprint results must be received from the FBI and reviewed, you must be tax compliant, have registered for the selective service (if applicable), and must show proof of citizenship at this session.

If you are qualifying for this position based on education, you must bring a copy of your official transcripts to this session (If the vacancy is closed transcripts will not be accepted). If you are claiming Veterans Preference you must bring in all required documentation.

VERY IMPORTANT:
Under Executive Order 11935, only United States citizens and nationals (residents of American Samoa and Swains Island) may compete for civil service jobs. To receive consideration, you must bring proof of citizenship to this session. Acceptable documents are:
• Certified Birth Certificate (if born in the U.S. or U.S. Territory)
• U.S. Passport
• Certification of Birth Abroad FS-545 or DS-1350
• U.S. Citizen Identification Card I-197
• Identification Card for Use of Resident Citizen in the U.S. I-179
• Citizenship Certificate
• Naturalization Certificate
• State Department Form 240

In addition to proof of citizenship you must also bring a State or Federal Issued photo ID such as a Drivers License or valid State ID card.

IF YOU NEED INTERPRETER SERVICE YOU WILL NEED TO LET US KNOW AS SOON AS POSSIBLE IN ORDER TO ENSURE AN INTERPRETER WILL BE AVAILABLE OR WE WILL NEED TO RESCHEDULE YOU FOR A SESSION WITH AN INTERPRETER.

Sincerely,
Kansas City Employment Section II
External Recruitment


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*it's important to "shout" at people who don't read English. let me tell you, they totally read that far in the first place and have the text-training to realize all-caps as emphasis.

********************

I really don't like the FBI part. The sun's not yellow, it's chicken.
But mama doesn't want to be in the factory sans shoes, nor have anyone out in the alley looking for anything.
Raffle will be held for guesses about my "G" scale. Prize will be that I will look around for your taxes but never find them.

4 comments:

m.v. said...

I think they meant interpreter for the deaf.(maybe?)

Applecart T. said...

v. funny.
merry x-mas.
you win the pun.

hearmysong said...

i'm trying to visualize this and having trouble. curbgirl and govt job.

guess the benefits are aces.

Applecart T. said...

"seasonal, part-time, temporary" = a television like yours (much coveted by male resident of house), or — hey, why not? — how about a new roof and some gutters.

we had a saying in college (based on a terribly bad joke about a local job bank commercial for "Mo. Jobs," as in Missouri):

"i got a job. i need MO job."

yes, mo' job is always fun, if one can make a series of sacrifices … which are only tolerable because they are temporary. blessed are those who are stuck there all the time, eh?

it's just nice to have options.