Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Midwest Offers Weather Conducive to Death Year-Round

If it is not a storm with knock-things-down winds and broil-it lightning,
It is an actual tornado, ice storm, and frequently amid temperatures extreme enough
In either direction to kill you if you sit still or move too much, depending.

This is why I do not leave the house for days at a time,
Several times a year. I do not keep track.
Things I used to tabulate included sex and alcohol portions.
Food diaries were always two-day failures.
However, statistics never proved valuable enough to balance the tedium of
Manual data entry.

The returns of knowledge were worthless,
And when a purpose did once arise, the data proved incomplete,

I do know that I drove to a friend's birthday,
After a parental birthday we hosted,

Then, you know, it snowed;
People cancelled their F2Fs with me,
So there.

Our car has a questionable tire now, after being punctured by an unretrieved screw or something, and who wants to brave "this patch might not work because there was some oily substance, we don't know what, inside the tire?"

I don't like having to rely on things that might fail and leave me stranded metaphorically or actually. The bus is fairly trustworthy, though there are incidents of violence. Actual shootings, I've missed out on, but I have been aisle-side when two youngish women started punching and yelling at each other. Nice. Hence, going out requires extreme motivation. Something like money, perhaps.


Hyperblogal said...

I too do not leave the house for days at a time... but it has nothing to do with the weather.

hearmysong said...

so tell me something i don't know
(other than the dodgy tire)...

Nick said...

my tires fall for the unrequited nail, generally at curbs littered with crushed hooker ale cans. unretrieved screws don’t rate a single tread…

Applecart T. said...

nick, screws with bolts? we've had those. on the other hand (which is actually a jar that the hand of me has placed them in), i have found and picked up 3x more nails, screws, potential tire-fails than have entered our tires. still, 2 per year for years … i joked about installing magnets. not so unrealistic now : )